The German Part Two: Car Fire

A few days ago I let the world know about my German co-worker, Chris, who had a tendency to smell cooked poop.  We established that he is gross, or weird, or a combination of both.  Since that time he wanted it clarified that he never actually cooked the poop himself, he merely smelled it occasionally and knew without a doubt that it was not a particularly delicious smell.

But this article isn't about that.

The other day I saved him from being stranded at work for an eternity by giving his dead car-battery a jump.  At first glance, this seems like a relatively easy task.  Pull the cars side by side, hook the batteries together with the cables, crank the engine, and boom - you have power.

Exhibit A:

But not so fast.

The simple but non-negotiable rule of jumping a car is the red cable connects to the positive side of the battery, clearly marked by a red covering.  Then the black cable connects to the negative side of the battery, clearly marked by the black covering.   Having entrusted the cables to my German friend, I looked away and failed to notice that in Germany there are basic education gaps such as color coordinated instructions, paint-by-number, the proper use of belts to hold up pants, etc. 

Exhibit B:

When I looked back at my car-battery, a miniature fire had sprouted on top of it.  Between myself and the German there was a moment of pause and reflection as we watched the fire flicker to life. 

I paused in pure shock.  

I think he paused out of curiosity to see what would happen if he let the fire continue.

My other co-worker, Ryan saved the day and patted out the flames. No harm, no foul.

Clearly, I will need to keep my head on a swivel while working with this man, belt-less heathen that he is.