Monday, February 6, 2012

My 5 fears

Well as promised, here is the add-on to my previous post where I wrote about the top 5 fears and anxieties of the greater population at large.  Here are my top 5 and to be honest some are just anxieties, not actually terror.

For instance:

1- Clowns.  I distrust clowns.  Maybe it's because I can't tell what they are thinking behind all that make-up.  Maybe because I wonder why they hang out with small kids and hide their true identities.  From my perspective only superheros get a pass on the hidden identity thing.  Clowns...they suck.  A psychiatrist might think it was because I read Stephen King's novel, It. But I would probably chalk it up to having seen this f'ed up movie much too young.

2- Hospitals.  They smell funny.  Sort of like sepsis and rubbing alcohol.  Oh, and expensive bills for opinions that I could have told myself.  Stomach ache?  Indigestion.  Headache?  No one knows...stress or eat better or guessed it...indigestion. You heard your ankle snap?  You can't see the podiatrist until your general physician verifies its broken and refers you.  Sorry, by the way, you might have digestive issues.

3- Funeral homes.  You would think it would be graveyards but it isn't.  I hear about people who live in the funeral home.  Family lives on one side, Dad does his work in the basement on dead bodies.  F@ck that.  Reminds me of Six Feet Under and My Girl.  My Girl made me hate funeral homes even more and further associate them with tears...don't judge me.
4- Speaking of basements...I hate those too.  I guess it is a combination of the dark and the unknown at its root.  But I am not scared of the dark nor the unknown so much. But when you combine the two in a dank smelly basement of a 100 year old house I get a bit uncomfortable.
5- Last but not least- Being stuck in a nightmare.  Another fear you can blame on bad television or that one time I thought I had sleep paralysis, but not waking from my sleep and being stuck in some continuing nightmare for all of eternity freaks me the f@ck out.  Thank you Freddy Krueger. Thank you to all those people who said the best way to die is in your sleep.  You have scar(r)ed me for life.