My 5 fears

Well as promised, here is the add-on to my previous post where I wrote about the top 5 fears and anxieties of the greater population at large.  Here are my top 5 and to be honest some are just anxieties, not actually terror.

For instance:

1- Clowns.  I distrust clowns.  Maybe it's because I can't tell what they are thinking behind all that make-up.  Maybe because I wonder why they hang out with small kids and hide their true identities.  From my perspective only superheros get a pass on the hidden identity thing.  Clowns...they suck.  A psychiatrist might think it was because I read Stephen King's novel, It. But I would probably chalk it up to having seen this f'ed up movie much too young.

2- Hospitals.  They smell funny.  Sort of like sepsis and rubbing alcohol.  Oh, and expensive bills for opinions that I could have told myself.  Stomach ache?  Indigestion.  Headache?  No one knows...stress or eat better or ...you guessed it...indigestion. You heard your ankle snap?  You can't see the podiatrist until your general physician verifies its broken and refers you.  Sorry, by the way, you might have digestive issues.

3- Funeral homes.  You would think it would be graveyards but it isn't.  I hear about people who live in the funeral home.  Family lives on one side, Dad does his work in the basement on dead bodies.  F@ck that.  Reminds me of Six Feet Under and My Girl.  My Girl made me hate funeral homes even more and further associate them with tears...don't judge me.

4- Speaking of basements...I hate those too.  I guess it is a combination of the dark and the unknown at its root.  But I am not scared of the dark nor the unknown so much. But when you combine the two in a dank smelly basement of a 100 year old house I get a bit uncomfortable.

5- Last but not least- Being stuck in a nightmare.  Another fear you can blame on bad television or that one time I thought I had sleep paralysis, but not waking from my sleep and being stuck in some continuing nightmare for all of eternity freaks me the f@ck out.  Thank you Freddy Krueger. Thank you to all those people who said the best way to die is in your sleep.  You have scar(r)ed me for life.

Annual Holiday Party

You really do have to love the holidays. I recently hosted my annual party and friends and family from all around came over and enjoyed the eggnog, hot chocolate, and fire pit.  The air cooled down a bit even if this is Florida and even if I had to lower the thermostat to 66 degrees.

Alex Denmon knows how to rock an ugly Christmas sweater

Evening highlights include:

My friend Eddie falling asleep on the couch as the party raged on

Eddie's pot-roast was a huge hit!

My friend Ryan and his girlfriend were misidentified as Zach Braff and Jennifer Garner

I almost lit my sleeve on fire

My meatballs were a hit, thank you crock-pot goddess

Ruchelle Owens, winner of the riddle, showed up and seemed to have a great time

My cat figured out how to open doors

One of the guests, a female named Sara, decided to turn on Call of Duty at 3am.

The hostess with the most-est continues to impress

No one was maimed, died, or got arrested (tame party, sounds like weaksauce but it wasn't)

My niece danced to Sexy and I Know It and at the age of three looks like a potential diva.  She made me watch eleven times as she danced and then also refused to dance until everyone washed their hands six times.

The police helmet from the 2007 hat party made its way back out via Alex Denmon's head

My Dad and Paula went on a beer run and showed up with three cases of beer to add to my two cases and three bottles of liquor

Also noteworthy and important:

Lindsey made her beans again

Josh did not drink a deadly tea, though he almost did

Craig and Stacey came in from Orlando- no party works without them

Tre and Min, always wonderful, let me act ridiculous and it was great to see them and add their Christmas present under my mini-tree.

Mike and Elena came to their first Holiday party in my house and really amped things up

My good friend Brent and his wife Kim showed up (it has been a while since I have seen them out and about)

Josh, Dave, and Alex helped create the world's best gamer / nerd photo of grown men spelling out COD with their hands.

Dana took the picture and then made fun of us in her pleasantly biting way that we all adore....

The party really set the tone for Christmas and hopefully next year those who didn't make it will be able to join us!

Screenplay: For Nothing complete

The first draft of For Nothing, as it pertains to the world of screenplays, is now complete thanks to my good friend Thomas Humphreys.  Don't let his dabbling with alcohol and nonsensical Welshman ways fool you.  This man is a seriously talented writer.

If you are uncertain what goes into adapting a novel into a screenplay, let me tell you it is not easy.

Consider:

- The novel is 280 pages, roughly.  The screenplay needs to be under 120 pages.  There is an axiom that a page of a screenplay is worth one minute of film time.  To cut a novel by 60% and still convey the original story is a monumental task.

How monumental?  At the moment it is about 180 pages.  So where to cut the next 60 pages becomes problematic to say the least.

- You have an author who considers the novel his baby, and you must please him.  I hope I wasn't tremendously picky through the process, but Thomas was very patient and kind enough to let me put my two cents in on a few moments through the process.  If impossible sinners could be saints, he might be one.

- Don't mess up the story, readers will know and will call you out for it.  All while cutting out 60% of the story...did I mention that?

THE PRICE

I may or not have made several promises.

Items said to have been mentioned include but are not limited to:

- A round of shots at a local American bar.

- To attempt to work in a small role for his actor brother, Mike Humphreys, if we ever get the chance.

- To write this blog.

All in all not a bad deal for a superb piece of work.  Though I did have to mention that Americans really don't say bollocks.  The term is beneath our civilized society.


Follow Tom on Twitter here: @Mr_Frodo_esq 

Follow him on Facebook here:  His Facebook Page

Follow his actor brother Mike here: His Facebook Page 

How can you not like people who hangout and get dirty like this?

Cover of Buffalo Soldiers: An Upstate New York Mafia Tale book 2 in the series...

Jesse Horst has once again blessed me with some fine work for the cover of my novel.  The Buffalo Soldiers artwork is phenomenal.  For more of Jesse's work go here: AWESOME ART

The novel is almost completed and December 1 looks like the release date.

Spread the word!

A Tale of a Gollum, A Book, and an Interview

Let's get business out of the way first.  Thank you for everyone buying, promoting, reviewing and loving (of course) For Nothing.  The response, which I owe to all of you, has been amazing.  I am working on the sequel and am nearing the end of the first act of that book (roughly one third of the way done).  Sorry that it takes a bit away from my blogging, but I will make a better effort to update.

That being said, there was an awesome interview done with me and the awesome reviewer and writer Cambria Hebert.  We cover such fun facts as: Do I wear boxers or briefs? Would I rather be a werewolf or a vampire? Find out that and more in my interview with Cambria Hebert here.  

As you may have read, my brother Chris and I wake up at 5:30 am these days in order to go to the gym in order to get our pump on. These wonderful excursions to the gym have led me to compile a few things I have wondered while working out.


1) Hey guy, is the grunt that important? Not the little grunt, the one that makes all the ladies give you a wide berth in case you're really a roided rapist?


2) How do I take my boxers off to get in the shower with out ruining everybody's day?


3) How do I get them back on? (I have solved this issue by wearing my towel like a kilt and going up and under).


4) I can't believe the gym is so packed that early. I said to Chris, "People that come to the gym this early are really serious about their work out." He replied, "And then there is us." In between bites of my two power Twinkies I asked, "What do you mean?"


5) It is amazing how body's react differently to the same work out. Case and point, Chris works out the same as me...he even does a few more reps than I do. But look at the differences in how we are shaping up:

Me getting my svelte on...I grew those mountains myself.

VS

He is looking more tan though

Ok guys and gals that's it for now.  Enjoy you weekend!!

Now this is how you pump iron!

Well I put the challenge out there to my lovely fans (really just friends and family more likely than not) to help me reach 400 'LIKES" on Facebook.

The terms?

A signed copy of For Nothing mailed out by your favorite author (better be me) to a random fan who liked my page during that run to 400.

Who won?   I knew you would ask.  Stay tuned for the answer later tonight.

In writing news, I am trying to hit 25,000 words tonight on For Nothing's sequel.  Buffalo Soldiers is scheduled to go out October 15th and I need to really focus like a laser beam on that deadline.

In personal news, my brother and I are doing this diet workout thing that sucks.  My dinner tonight is a fruit smoothie and starting on Monday we will be waking up three days a week at 5:30 am to workout before our day jobs.

Crap.  Whose idea was this anyway??

I suppose it's okay though because we might eventually look like this guy and have the same ...er... feelings... towards the effects.

 

It's funny I suppose but when I work out I always take it to another level.  Apparently I can't do anything half way.  This is a home video of me teaching Chris how to properly train:

ENJOY!!!

Treasure Hunt Blog Hop Winners!

Well they say when you want to bury a body you should bring along a shovel and a few bags of lime.  The gangsters who follow this blog know what I'm talking about and I am pretty sure a few of this month's contest winners were in on the Jimmy Hoffa disappearance. 

Essential Gangster Supplies

Quite a few people entered the contest and went on the search for Jimmy Hoffa's body, and by the activity on this blog, my Fanpage, and on Goodreads - a fair amount of holes were dug in the wilderness hoping to solve the mystery of his resting place.  But in good mafia fashion those of you who know where he is, kept your mouths shut.  A book apparently wasn't enough to bribe you into ratting on your fellow Denmon Familia members (by the way that was a suggestion for the name of those who follow my blog and fanpage etc and I think I like it!  What do you think?)

But since I am the Don in this enterprise only a select few of you get a cut of this month's take.  Your participation, as always, was amazing but there are winners and there are losers and the winners for this month's blog hop are as follows:

Electronic Book copy of For Nothing

J. Barrett
HeatherC8
Nikki aka Sherri McCarver
Nathiel
Helen Seely

I have already emailed you so please email me if you did not get your coupon code

As for the GRAND PRIZE WINNER of a SIGNED AUTOGRAPHED COPY of FOR NOTHING:

Super Gangster....

Extraordinaire...

Fan-tastic member of the Denmon Familia (will it stick?)...

SONIA REMO aka Momma Elk!!

Sonia please email at nicholasdenmon08@gmail.com to collect your prize.  I will need your mailing address!

For the rest of you, there really are no losers, because it was fun wasn't it?  And there just might be another contest NEXT month!  So how bout that?

Of course you can always buy a copy of the book if you are impatient.  Check out my website HERE and click the book cover to buy it!

Remember Tom Cruise and the couch incident??

I do.  And so what?  Mission Impossible 4 - Ghost Protocol is coming out and I will see it.

That is all on that subject.

Next up?

I made promises to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2  so that will be fulfilled later this week. Emma Watson is growing prettier these days so that is an added bonus.

I hope I picked an 18+ picture...she is in college now.

Moving right along...

Buffalo Soldiers, the latest installment of An Upstate New York Mafia Tale is well under way.  I think this story has the teeth to be even better than For Nothing.  That is okay though because For Nothing is my first born baby and will always have a spot in my heart.  For now, For Nothing remains America's #1 Crime Thriller by Nicholas Denmon.

But what will tomorrow bring?  Maybe Buffalo Soldiers will knock it off the top spot.

Speaking of things related to my book pandering prowess, check out a new website my brother made for me at: www.best-fiction-novels.com   He did a really great job on it.  It is sort of a one stop shop for my book, blog, other works in progress, and reader and writer interaction.  Very cool stuff.

Last but not least we have For Nothing on a Goodreads Poll.  The link is here: http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/12544.The_Book_Addicts_

Like with the lists you vote on, if you vote, you enter a raffle to win a free ebook.  If you vote on ALL the lists and the poll you enter to win a free paperback SIGNED copy.  Now who wouldn't want that??  If you vote for Allie Burkes Violet Midnight you will receive an extra bonus surprise with your free ebook!  VOTE VOTE VOTE! There are a few good books up there so this should be fun just to be in the running!

UPDATE:  52 people have voted.  I will be emailing you guys your free ebook coupon.  At the end of the month I will announce a grand-prize winner!