My crazy mom
So the Japanese Tsunami/Earthquake/Nuclear Reactor catastrophe has us all on high alert. But my mom takes things like this and really grabs a hold and focuses on them. It is another area where black and white and crazy versus sane blur the lines. I remember when I was younger and the statues of Mary would cry in Argentina or someplace and she would get super religious. When she saw a movie about the end of days, she would be sure that it wasn’t long before we were all approaching our own doomsday scenario ala Water World and Kevin Costner (It still bothers me that in a world with no land, they all smoke cigarettes. Surely tobacco is growing somewhere).
In the case of the Japanese catastrophe, my mom is convinced that the tectonic plates are not done moving. They aren’t, for the record. As far as my knowledge of geology goes, they won’t ever be done shifting and moving. But with my mom it is on a different level. She left three messages on my house phone and two more on my cell phone to tell me to buy canned goods and water and to be prepared for the plate shifts that were sure to happen under my home. Then she left three more messages on my answering machine for my brothers. She called my number thinking that she was calling them, in rapid succession. At some point don’t you realize you are just dialing the same number back to back to back? That or merely hitting re-dial? She surely knows we don’t live together. She has been to each of our homes…
But my hilarious asshole of an older brother called her up, having received several such messages himself, and convinced her that the only fault line in Florida ran directly through her neighborhood. My retired Chevy factory worker step dad is probably cursing my brother out right now as he digs a shelter in the backyard while trying to plant the seed for corn.
I went to a Yankee game recently with the old man. They have their spring training here in Tampa and we try to catch a game or two every year. It was a good time, my brother Rob came with me and my Dad brought his new girl friend Paula. She is a sweet lady from what I can tell, and seemed to compliment my Dad pretty well. For instance (keep in mind my Dad is corny):
Me: I need to leave here in about 20 minutes.
Dad: Actually, 16 minutes, numbers are our friend.
Paula: Yes, because we can count on them.
Paula teaches third grade and that joke is about on par with what I can expect from my family and our banter. I think she will fit right in. It reminded me of that joke, “Why is six scared of seven? Because seven eight nine”.
My brackets seem to be holding up well. In my work-league, 2 of my 3 brackets are tied for first place. But in March Madness things can change in a rush and my fortunes are tied to the SEC. Florida or BYU need to really pull it out for me. There have been some great games already this tournament and I hope it continues to be fun. I love talking smack everyday when I come to the office.
I sat down this weekend and hammered out a few thousand word for my next novel. It was a little slower in the going than I had hoped but I struggled through it and tonight I hope to hammer out a few thousand more words. I am thinking it will be about 75,000 words when I am done so after about 4 days of solid writing over the last two weeks I am about twelve percent done with it. I really need to pick up the pace.