Thursday, April 21, 2011

Nerdy Nerd McNerderson

In high school I was a huge nerd.  I still am, but back then the difference was I tried to be cool.  Somewhere along the line I managed to make decent grades, do fairly well as a wrestler, and go to college and brought home the finest piece of ass (also very nerdy) north of Pembroke Pines.  But before my college days, I was just a nerd, trying to get by.

Me, aged 11, a few years before high school
I read at night, with a flash light, under the covers.  I thought that, perhaps, I was pulling one over on my old man. Bedtime is for suckers or in the words of 50 Cent, "Sleep is for those people who are broke."

The net result was the magnificent pair of CIA specs on the boy above, an outrageous verbal SAT score, and a whole bunch of nerd-tastic tendencies.  These tendencies included, but were not limited to: 

1)  Laughing at my own jokes.  Fuck off.  The timing of jokes takes a while to develop, as much time as say a dose of testosterone...

2)  Gladly imitating the character Fuller from Home Alone. Dammit, the truth hurts.  The quotes, "I don't want to sleep on the hide-a bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed." and "Lay off the Pepsi, Fuller" echo in the recesses of my brain.

3) Being compared with Lucas from the movie Lucas, didn't phase me...fuck.  Yes it did.  It stung then and still stings now.  My brothers still love to call me Lucas.  One day, they'll get theirs.  *shakes fist at the heavens*

4) Also writing blogs is nerdy, but guess what, you're reading this so what does that make you?  Come to think of it, people watched those movies too...

5)  The glorification of nerds in public makes me smile.  I recently read on a Jimmy Johns poster that you should be nice to nerds because one day you'll end up working for one.  That warms my heart, until I realize that, either there were way more people nerdier than myself, or that statement is simply inaccurate.

Tomorrow, my post on the Revenge of the Nerd, and his glorious college misadventures.


  1. LMAO. I don't know what else to say. Awesomeness.

  2. Spread the word...or, spread the nerd? LOL.

    Great post; absolutely nerdtastic. I love the Jimmy John's saying.

    I'm proud that you're my #BNFF, Nerdy Nerd McNerderson.

  3. I think writing blog posts is nerdy only when we lose sleep over it. Or, waste precious time trying to find the antonym for Svengali in a Thesaurus thinking Svengali was the perfect sounding word for a witty/clever statement, except you were meaning the opposite of Svengali.. Well. I did that today. Apparently there is no Thesaurus with "Svengali" as an antonym. But, enough about me... You're okay for a suit.

  4. Great job! Loved the pics of Fuller & Lucas.

  5. LOL..great way to start my morning...with my people (all hail the NERD GOD)

  6. Hahahahaha! Good post! Thank God you grew out of that! lol

    Angeline Kace

  7. The sad thing is that kids can be so cruel. And the bullies might not be working for you, but they might one day read your books! ;)

  8. Thanks for all the comments guys! If you get a chance be sure to click the "follow" button on the right -- would be appreciated. Those of you who already follow, much love as always.

  9. LOL! This was awesome, Nick.

    I was and will always be a nerd at heart. At least I'm in good company.