Friday, April 1, 2011

Noah doesn't have crap on me?

It rained so hard yesterday that I looked up the blueprints to building an ark online. I didn’t know what a cubit was, so I stopped and fortunately, so did the rain.  I did notice that my family must really care about me, or had a premonition.  I received no less than four phone calls about the weather and how I should be careful.

I appreciate the thought.  Really, it is nice to know people care.

However, I can’t help but feel that there must be some reason my parents and siblings think an act of God is like to take me out.  My mom (remember) still thinks a fault line is under her house and wants me to stock canned goods in case we get hammered by a rift in the earth. 

My Dad, let me know that a tornado touched down in Tampa and was last seen traveling in my general direction.

Me:  “Thanks Dad, but I am ever the soul of caution.”
Pappy:  “Yeah right.  That’s you.”

Such little faith.

Me:  “It is really raining here.”
Pa-pa: “It is 80 degrees and sunny in the Keys.”

It sort of sounded like he said “suckerrrr” but he never actually used the words.

Me:  “Dad, the phone is breaking up, gotta go!”

Then my mom called me.  Three times. Once on my cell, another on my house phone and another on my cell again, in case I didn’t get the other two messages.   It is good to know I am loved and people care, did I mention that?

But she could just say this, “In case the earthquake doesn’t get you, I am pretty sure you are going to be flooded and washed out to sea. Oh and that tornado looks like it is going to smash you to bits if the tide doesn’t get you first.  Love you! By the way, I made some homemade lasagna and some cookies in case you survive.”

In other news…

My niece has a birthday this weekend, and that is exciting.  I love to give her presents.  I don’t know why.  I just do.  She is going to be three going on thirty and my brother decided to forego the petting zoo this time for a bounce house.  He said, “Yeah we can drink a few beers, kick the kids out of the bounce house and have a great time.”  Ah, parenting.

In a game of “Where's Waldo” my brother Adizz is still running around out west somewhere.  While he has been gone, he has become a YouTube sensation at my office because of videos like this that he makes:

Oh and I hit 22,000 words on my novel.  The cover art is moving along nicely for my ebook, and I am getting increasingly excited.  Have a great weekend fellas!


  1. Oh, Nicholas. I like your style.

  2. Thanks ladies! You don't know how much that made my day!!