Monday, November 19, 2012

The Worst Movie of ALL Time

Every so often I come across a movie that makes me wonder who out there decided that putting money on this movie was a worthwhile investment.  These movies are usually on television and on local cable channels. So the mistake had to be made twice.  The initial investor was duped.  Then a television channel was duped into showing this movie by selection.

Movies that make my list of utter crap vary, but more often than not it is a low budget horror flick that really gets in the "Worst of" category.

The problem is, I help perpetuate these films because I watch them.  Why?  Because I keep hoping to come across the next Killer Klowns From Outer Space or perhaps the next Blair Witch.  If a regular film sucks, I leave it.  I change the channel.  But with horror I keep hoping for that thrill I didn't expect.  

Usually though, it never comes and I start to watch the film on the merit of it's unintentional comedy.

That was the movie Primal, this weekend.


Anja and five friends join anthropology student Dace on a journey to study a remote ancient rock painting. Their excitement vanishes when Mel becomes delirious after skinny-dipping in the waterhole. Feverish bleeding confused she physically and mentally regresses to a vicious predatory state. Mel has gone primal. Mels lover and friends realize they are the prey as she savagely hunts them down. Before they can escape another one of them starts to regress posing a hideous choice kill their friends or be killed by them. Their only hope of survival is through a cave where Anja learns too late the meaning of the ancient rock art they came to study.

I almost lost it when...

Her teeth fell out and she grew rabbit (rabbit) fangs.  What the fuck.  It is as if they took the Monte Python skit, combined it with an ugly woman, and ran with it.  

I definitely lost it when... 

At one point the strongest member of the group literally hits this crazy fanged woman in the face 9 times with a large tree branch and she doesn't go down.  Then later on the weakest member of the group hits her once and knocks her unconscious.  I don't ask for much in these films but please, a little consistency.  

So should you watch it?

YES!  But for a laugh, not a scare. 

1 comment:

  1. My husband and I watched it last night! Lol! We were laughing and saying WTF? Alternately! That movie was horrible! What is with Syfy and the BAD low budget movies? They keep getting WORSE!!!